• Satire Scribes

Singles vs couples battle for “most annoying” honour on Valentine’s Day

Updated: Jul 7, 2020

As Valentine’s Day draws near, so too does a great battle on social media between single people and couples .

Both will be looking to see how annoying they can possibly be through use of social media. There are several different posts from singles that they will use to achieve this.

Some will say that don’t care that they do not have a partner because they are strong enough on their own, despite complaining every day about how lonely they feel. Others will say it’s consumerist rubbish despite the fact that they will celebrate any other occasion which is also consumerist.

It is possible these people might take it a step further and say that if they had a partner, they still wouldn’t take part in Valentine’s Day.

This dreariness on social media is combatted by couples and their overly-sickening ways. Some will post with joy about something nice they did for their partner as if wanting special recognition for a simple act of kindness they could have done on any other day. Others will profess their love for one another and in a short simple message, these would cause little annoyance.

Instead, people will write the longest status ever riddled with cliché and leaving vomit in the mouths of those who end up reading it.

The consumerist argument is the only direct attack from singles to couples. In response, people in relationships tend to post something addressing the singles usually in a self-righteous way. They express their joy at their relationship and say that they hope everyone can find their true love like they apparently have.

The government has stepped in to offer solutions to stop annoyance from both sides. They have stated single people can only slate Valentine’s Day if they have a rightful claim to be looking forward to something else better, like seeing Deadpool.

For the couples, they must keep their declarations of love short and sweet and should not take any pride in doing ordinary housework for one day of the year.

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