• Satire Scribes

Negotiators called in as gran holds grandchildren hostage until they eat enough.

Updated: Jul 7, 2020

A standoff between police and a grandmother has reached its 8th hour with negotiators called in to try and resolve a hostage situation.

The hostages are believed to be the grandchildren of the women who were prevented from leaving and reuniting with their parents after only having several meals round their nan’s house.

The negotiators have been listening to her demands and we managed to obtain a transcript of the woman’s response.

“I can’t let these kids go, not until you promise they will be fed properly and all fattened up by the next time I see them, poor souls are wasting away.”

The media manage to capture a shot of the hostages inside with many of the children breathing heavily, unable to move while placing their hands over their stomach.

The parents of the children say there was always a hint something like this might happen as gran was always feeding the kids and mentioning their weight but they never took it seriously and say they will have to live with that regret every day.

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